Single Mom Tackles Grilling...And Wins!

 Throughout our marriage, John and I divided the chores like many couples.  I took care of most of the household cleaning and child-related stuff, and he did the lawn work, repair work (house and cars), and grilling. Now that we are separated, I have been determined to teach myself to do these things.  Ok, so maybe not car repair, but definitely lawn work and grilling. 

 Photo credit:  Pioneer Woman

I figured Memorial Day weekend was a great time to begin the grilling challenge, so this weekend I purchased a couple of beautiful steaks from the neighborhood butcher.  Then I found this delicious steak salad recipe.  I knew it would be wonderful because it is the Pioneer Woman's recipe, and all of her recipes are scrumptious.  I Googled "How to Grill the Perfect Steak" and read a couple of different suggestions, and then set to work.

To my surprise grilling was actually easy.  I seared both sides of the steaks to get the grill marks, and then just let them cook for a while, flipping them half way through.  I wasn't sure exactly how long I should cook them, so I watched them closely.  They turned out perfectly.  Juicy and just a tad pink in the middle.  Exactly how I like my steak. 

When I took them off of the grill I let them rest for a few minutes.  Then I sliced them into thin pieces and put them atop mixed greens.  As I expected, Pioneer Woman's  marinade and dressing were delish.  I will definitely be making this again!

My first grilling experience was such a success that I tried it again on Memorial Day.  I grilled hotdogs for the kids.  They must have been good because they gobbled them up, and Sam and Gracen ate two.  Score one for, Mom!

The best part of grilling...I can cook while my kids are having fun doing this:

Children's Books ~ Separation and Divorce

Trying to explain difficult life experiences (death, separation/divorce, serious illness, etc.) to your children can be intimidating and overwhelming.  However, quality children's books can help. I remember when my mother died (I was nine years old) my Dad gave me  You Shouldn't Have to Say Goodbye.  That book truly helped me navigate through some of the feelings I was having. It also made me understand that I was not the only child who had experienced the death of her mother.

Naturally, when I realized it was time to explain to my children that my husband and I were separating I wanted to find the perfect books for each of them. After researching lots of different books, the following are the ones I chose.


For Samantha (9 years old)

A Smart Girl's Guide to Her Parents' Divorce: How to Land on Your Feet When Your World Turns Upside Down (American Girl)

Short chapters illustrated with bright cartoon drawings cover many important concerns and offer explanations of the divorce process. Topics range from how to deal with negative emotions, family changes, and new living arrangements, to tougher issues such as violence and financial troubles. The text has a compassionate tone, and sprinkled throughout are answers to questions that readers might have as well as snippets of advice from girls who have found what works for them. A few write-in quizzes are included. This book promises to be a helpful guide. School Library Journal

Samantha has read and enjoyed many of the American Girl "Smart Girl" guide books. This one was no exception. She read it cover to cover in one weekend. The advice and insight this book offers is worded and explained in terms that adolescent girls can easily understand. It is also a great resource for girls to keep so that when future situations or problems arise they can use the book to help them navigate. I highly recommend this book to girls ages 9-12 and parents, as well. I think it is valuable tool for parents because it is a reminder of what separation and divorce look like from their daughter's perspective.

For Gracen (7 years old)

My Mom and Dad Don't Live Together Anymore: A Drawing Book for Children of Separated or Divorced Parents

Product Description ~ Some things are easier to say with pictures. When parents decide to separate or divorce, children need ways to sort through all the feelings, thoughts, and worries they are facing. This drawing book encourages kids to explore their inner world through both pictures and words, helping them to understand themselves and feel better during a difficult time of change.

Gracen loves to draw and color, so this book was the perfect choice for her.  She decided to really take her time on all of the illustrations because she wants to keep the book forever.  I like this book because discussing the pages, and what she should draw on each, helped Gracen open up and share her feelings with me.  This book is a great choice for non-readers and for children who have difficulty putting words to their emotions.


For Wes (4 years old)

It's Not Your Fault, Koko Bear: A Read-Together Book for Parents and Young Children During Divorce 

Amazon.com Review ~ How do you talk to your children about your divorce? How can you best handle their responses? Here's a children's book and parenting tool rolled into one. It's Not Your Fault, Koko Bear is a picture book designed to be read by parents to their children. At the bottom of each page, there are bullet points for parents that give information and advice about what the kids are going through, and the best way to handle each issue as it arises. (Ages 3 to 7 and parents)

I used this book when telling Wes that his Dad and I were separating.  It made the extremely difficult task a lot easier for me.  It also made a difficult-to-understand situation a little more understandable for Wes.  Wes really identified with Koko the preschool-aged bear in the story.  He asked lots of questions about Koko and his bear parents.  Wes has asked me and his sisters to read this book to him several times over the past few weeks.  I believe it is a comfort to him.

The Hardest Words to Write

I have been struggling with the decision of whether or not I should write this post.  However, after mentioning that I was having family issues on We Teach, I received heartfelt, supportive emails from many of my friends in the blogging community. This outpouring of love, made me cry tears of happiness and relief.  It also proved to me that my blogging friends are truly my  "FRIENDS".  To nurture these special friendships, it is only natural to be honest and upfront about what  is going on in my life.  I also know that my life circumstances will affect the things about which I blog.  With all that being said, here goes...

My husband and I have decided to separate.  It was not a sudden decision, but it is still very difficult.  We are not bitter and are getting along fairly well, considering.  We both have our children's best interests at heart, so it makes it easier for us to make decisions and move forward.

At this point, I am focusing on taking one day at a time and being present for my children.  I still intend to continue blogging, but I am not sure how much time I will have to devote.  I want to thank, in advance, my friends and followers who will continue to read.  I will definitely need companions as I embark on this new journey.

Many Hugs!